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MWrld's Journal

Saturday, May 7, 2016

12:38PM - Finding a Way to Cope

"im writing because i feel theres somethings i need to vent. lately ive been feeling alone, hated, kicked, slapped, and beatin down. i try hard to do things people will appreciate. im taken for granted everytime. i feel if i do something that might be better then what someone else is doing im still being mistreated.

im sorry if this makes no sense. random thoughts.
Im suppose to do good things for people who hate and mistreat me? What kind of life is that? What did i ever do to deserve any of that? I cant contemplate it enough.

Theres days and nights when i wish i just had my own retreat. Get away from this house, city, life for awhile.
I have one good friend who listens to my bullshit and tries to understand from a 3rd person point of view. She doesnt tell me whats good for me because she knows ill do what i want anyway.
"Focus on yourself", she says. How can I? Everytime i try to do something i want theres a roadblock. Kicking me back down. Its turning me into a vengeful person.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

7:37PM - Mex2

Back to blog bc making a facebook rant really isnt worth it. People just read/judge/ignore.
Anyway, im on this #fuck31 episode right now and iv'e been throwing around the idea of a baby. but.. idk
Its scary, what will I become & what would they become???
Ive come to realize that, yeah im a bit selfish. Probably more then most women
Also, do i seriously want a human being treated the way i feel ive been treated most of my adult years.. alone? Fuck no
Irony is selfish parent = alone child dipshit.
Although i feel my parents did Everything and Anything they could, I was too awkward to make myself liked =/
Trust me ive come A VERY LONG WAY not giving a shit. Like i should be dead, burried, extinct
Clearly ive learrned from those mistakes ,which call it what you want, but im not a fucking prude. Never will i be, i just see situations in a different light now (thank god) because if i kept down the path i was on.. well, i wouldnt be writing this blog
Yet the path i was on gave me alot of friends, this path ive been on.. gives me haters :( I dont understand!!!??

Sooo the basic of the topic is, i fear children in genneral. I fear having one that becomes me and its like well fuck

Thursday, August 20, 2015

2:58PM - If you think your safe, your not safe at all.

Finally, a weekday off. I can indulge in household chores and car cleaning wtf? Its been alot of work trying to wear this crown so im happy to sit in my pj's all day. No one barking orders to me, getting in my way or .. trying to be me.. gross. I mean why go for the steak when you can have the lobster? I certainly would'nt wanna risk getting madd cow disease.
  Hypothetically speaking. ^_^
Over the course of this past weekend i had some pretty wild dreams, really good dreams! They seemed to stop after the last one i had which had me questioning my sub conscience or was it questioning me? Either way it was a breakthrough to something. Which kinda put me in a rut because when i think something is up, i know it for sure.
Lets just say i was right about the other times. So why would my gut feeling fail me now? Impossable!

Oh btw me.. im suppose to take in dairy 3x/day from here on. Some heathy shit my doc reccommend. I mean im trying chocolate milk but uhm yuck. I thought this was going to be the best way, but after my first glass im second guessing lol

Current mood: no.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

11:49PM - Get Wrecked.

When you wanna slap your co worker so hard google cant find them for having a "title" position and being a lazy pos. Leaving her supplies lay arond and peacing the fuckout, gtfo. Or telling on me for being social, crazy bitch, Have you checked yourself lately?? Or being a basic bitch and using the phrase "i love that stuff" refering to a detail kit becausse uh hello.... You look like a mobile carwash only.
Lordy im so annoyed. Anyone in my way is at risk for getting cursed out, smh

Friday, April 3, 2015

12:22AM - New day Flare

This day has been irratical. I woke up like okay chick, tread lightly. Do what ur suppose to do and smile often, you dont own all the probems. Which hey worked out great for me. Sure my brain quarantiened itself from my body most of the time, but i just try to tune it out, ignore it whatever it takes.
So i worked like a 9-1. Easy peasy right? Wrong. Then i came home and made 23 phone calls and added an extra doc appointment to my planner. I was also startled half to death when my uncle just let himslef into the house, like wtf. Not cool bro.
I sat outside with Syris and let the sun beat off my face and hoodie which was Auhmayzing. Would've taken a nap there if there were enough hours in my day
I went to work my 2nd shift. Of course it was busy AF bc of some super sale that im clueless on ): All these difficult customers just making me feel like the noob that i am. I swear my body temp. went from 40 to 70 degees in seconds. After that passed i got a display project.
Anyway, me and courtney (the NEW asst. mngr) closed the store down. We close at 9. I walked out at 10:10 WHAT? Nooo waiit a second. I get it, its dangerous to lock up alone! Girl you killin me lol
By the time i got home it was 10:40 soo serious and i gotta wake up and repeat )): Now im finally winding down and its like midnight. Im second guessing if its worth it??? Its gotta be..... but what exactly idk

Saturday, March 28, 2015

9:55PM - Keep quiet.

Lets get some music going to get in the jive lol i need to complete a journal entry before im complete and can fully committ to Resident evil lmao (true story bro)
K soo thiss weekend has been WAY too furious lol i need to vent a little before i can concentrate on ANYthing :)
Question, Am i really adequate in conversation or do i just convince myself i am?!? Because apparently to SOME fucking fucktards im like "uh proper english and uh duh" when in my eyes im like no MFer its like this. (period) Preetty sure im just a tad more advanced in english, yep. i dont need ur bullshit negativity. Can i spell, nope. Never said i could (:
Like i just wish there was one person and by person i  mean GUY that i could talk to about anything that would be like "fersure i get that" orrr just get it. it it. iiiiiiTTTTT. just get what im saying. And have a clever response orr enlighten me with a diff topic idc!!! Just so i can feel out that hey, u listened and im not speaking portuguise oranything lmao
Can i at least challenge you with some conversation that will intereste you?!
Nah?
Fuck. you.
I tried to listen but afterwhle the same damn thing gets repetetive and seniorish. fuck is that even a word?
k bye or peace out or outsett o anything but silence x (=

Current mood: geeky

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

11:15PM - Some type of way

5 months later and finally im not technically damaged.. Alot has changed, Like well.. I guess for once ill keep the

 burden of bringing anything up to myself. Hate to sound like im "making excuses" for anything. Shit i coud be dying and still quoatation make excues lmao. Point is the most serious thing always sounds like an excuse to somene imo
Anyways fucklol
I gotta seond car back in october! 93 celica gts, its old and cute lol
I just got a second job,idk we'll see how it pans out. Me being the sarcastic bitch that i am... i sence it could be hard lol
Latley ive been rly nice to people (strangers) This is the second time in a row ive worked a 10-4 and wakled out with a fucking headache. Probably bc im too nice and its annoying. Ohh the rant could go on for dayyyyysssZZzzzzssz

Uhmm theres more im sure! like like like likeeee alot more but ll wait this is too long already && resident evil is hard lmaoooooooooo

Friday, March 21, 2014

12:00AM

so all day i just been feeling nauseous, I took a nap but it was one of those "am i sleeping awake?" kinda naps...boooo
I kinda just want to be cuddled right now
fuck.
the end

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

7:42PM - Ya causin too much chaos

Dat mean old lady be gettin my blood pressure raised.
Why she got me listening to old school E?
Oh bc ill sass to ya ass, you dont wanna fuck wit me. sorry!


  Ohhh everyones a gangsta until a real gangsta walks into the room lmao

Current mood: Gangsta

12:23AM - Never went to a high school pep rally..

But i went to a Bucks game with Val on saturday! My first time and it was awesome! Free $80 seats
First we had dinner at High Hat on brady, lots of fun (: Then took the bus to whatever road the Bradly center is on, basically did a bunch of walking. Went to the Safehouse after the game which was also my first time geez lol
I thought we knew the password but nope, ended up walking around like penguins LOL
Got in and wow fucking fun, She was flirting with these dudes who she claimed were basketball players bc they were huge LOL Well gettin free drinks for herself. I heard them ask what kinda car she drives, she said Volvo and one was like "oh Volvo is a sports car" L M A O
Im like, okay time to walk away ha
Then we were walking to some gay bar she wanted to go in, but im like wait.. The place across the street was bumpin, lol
Lets go there instead!
So we ordere our drinks, it was so fuckin packed there was no where to sit, They had a dance floor which was packed and Still fly by big tymers come on !! Like omg this my shiiitt lmao
Anyways, i think i gave a black guy my phone number there, which.. idk maybe? but uhm  then we caught a cab back to her moms house and ate spaghetti!
Rach picked me up in the morning to do hair stuffs

Anyways, fun stuffs, Im glad i can do that sort of thing again (=

Outssetss

Saturday, January 18, 2014

10:14PM - Dun Dun Dunnn!!!

If ur a total nerd like muahhh youll know that SyFy has an epic nite of Zombie movIes on all nite! YAY!!!! YaY! YayyyyYYYY!!!!! LOL
Well thats all!!!
outtttttttset<<3

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

1:00PM - Cat chases tail, no?

Oh manIi was up til all hours of the night workin on a project, Took me 6hrs to finish it and lets just sayyyyyyyyyy, i was fuckin tiredd, still am. Only got what psh 2.5 hours of sleep? Suppose to work this e morning but i flaked out, actually my car wouldnt start and im not messsin around with it when its 2 degrees, derpity derrp lol
I was able to fall back asleep, only for like an hour tho bc nightmare
Yo yesterday was funny, i was all bout to rock out BO2, headset in one hand, twisted tea in the other and ring ring lol, Wanna work? APFFT! Better then unloading that truck in the blistering fucking cold. That should be illegal
welp uhmmmo nun else to really say cept Awkward is on tonight and imma play catch up on it
Outseex lol

Current mood: Hostile

Monday, November 25, 2013

8:13AM - Palm Trees<3

I miss summer )):

That is all

Friday, November 8, 2013

11:18AM - OMG a Whale? lol

Just got back from traffic court for my neons... Lets just say the judge and girl prosecutor were not entertained by me AT ALL LOL
I guess getting called by alphabetical order has its pros and cons , like anything else lol
So she asked in her bitch demeanor, why didnt you take them out? Bitch you aint my mother! Wow no one talks to me like that, so i giggled and said bcuz racecar, prolly should have said bcuz showcar but i could hear people behind me laughing lol.. The girl prosecutor was like GTFO lol
Oh well i was entertained (=
outset

Current mood: energetic

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

2:23PM - Smells like the 90's

Been listening to alot of 90's rock and got me back on the LJ lol

Thats all.

Current mood: relaxed

Monday, January 4, 2010

1:32AM - What normal person doest have the munchies at 1:20am? Really?

Apparently i do cuz im normal, remember?
Idk really, lots of new shit,
new year, new age, new friends, new car, same job && the same shit there.
Old car wrecked, yeah mhmm 2009 was a very eventfull year =D
i Need to medicate my munchies.
duces

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

4:11AM - OH GOODIE-GOODIE-GUMDROOPS

so today, wow i was supposed to be to my jobby by 1015am, i wake up at 8am, fall straight back asleep. Wake up a blistering mess look at the clock&&what? 10o'clock am, SHIT!! so basically i jumped in my cavalier n pretended i was Paul Walker on 2f2f w the Blue&Silver skyline, lol. I thought"welp, if im gonna get pulled over, mise well make it worth it"! BAHAH i booked it @90mph on i94, so funn! other then that i baked, yup, baked cookies. Just a natural betty fuckin crocker i guess ")
dub duces

Current mood: CUTE

Friday, October 16, 2009

6:07AM - One day at band camp...

I GOT SICK FROM AN EVIL TROLL!!!! yup. its true, he gave me the flu & pink eyes & a really shitty week.
I remember a time when no one was jockin on my shit, twisting my g-string, or straight never in my business or even bothered to care
Nowadays i feel like ewh sumones peaking over my shoulder every 5mins
Its kinda ..no.. its Really creepy.
&& ILOVE How people just show up at ur house, Havent they heard of a telephone? sheeshh YEAH! & wtf is up with bringing 23455678987 people with them??? anyways.. idk anymore. the weather is complete shit apfftt lol
Lizz got her NISSAN300sx [240] Going!!!! OMG THE MOTOR is better then sliced bread! & i love her state plate " Slow I6 " lol Genious!
im gonna custom mine in january cuz i need new plates anyway. i wanna do "furiouscavie" but how? FyrsCav? uh GRLSPD Z? <-- ilikeit. FuryCav? lol
possibilitys are endless i guess.
I wanna go to PA! PA state plates are pritty cool, yellow&blue!
I went to WVA 3 wks ago with my fam. Soo funn! whoops, i ran outta typing characters

Current mood: Cough Medicinne

Monday, September 21, 2009

1:37PM - [I] Sp!t VeNoM!!!

its true.. i could prolly vomit venom rite now. thx to SFingI!
that is All.
kbye.

Current mood: emo

Sunday, September 20, 2009

11:39AM - WoW! Coo l^-^ not rly.

People just LOVE thinking of themselves apparently.
Im pritty sure i said, yeah i have an evil obsession with this but ohh uHmm no worries just keep it up!...
Cool
Great
AWSOME!

inntiative is key [homo]

ughh.. i hate practical mind games
im sure youd draw your heart for anyone..noob..

peace
xoxox

Current mood: icky

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